Anger and Men

Anger is a common struggle for men. This is because God has hard-wired men to be aggressive, fight for causes, and lead. When something gets in the way of a man, he is susceptible to anger. This can be good or bad.

With Jesus, anger was good, but with us, it is often not good.

God’s Word says, “be angry but sin not” (Ephesians 4:26). How do we do this? Ephesians 4:26 is quoting Psalm 4:4. However, Paul is only quoting part of Psalm 4:4. The rest of Psalm 4:4 gives the secret to being angry but not sinning: “Be angry and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent” (Psalm 4:4). I believe this teaches that the best thing you can do when you are angry is remove yourself from the situation (so you don’t do something stupid!), get alone (on your beds), and allow the Lord to search your heart (ponder in your own hearts).

In allowing the Spirit to search your heart, ask this crucial question, “Lord, show me the goal that is being blocked.” Anger is due to a blocked goal. Often our goal is selfish and needs to be yielded to the Lord. 99% of anger is because we are not getting our way. We must be willing to surrender this to God. God uses anger to surface our selfishness and pride, so that we will allow Him to change that area of our life.

Now, anger can be righteous. In this case the goal being blocked is a righteous goal, and God may be using our anger to move is to godly action. When Jesus was angry in the Temple (Mark 11:15), it was because His goal of seeing the Temple used for worship was being blocked. He expressed his anger by overturning tables. Had He expressed His anger by hitting people, then He would have sinned. But He did not.

If we are angry because a righteous goal is being blocked, then we need to be very careful that we seek the Lord about how to respond to that anger. Those who expressed their anger toward sin and injustice in a godly way have done much good for the kingdom of God over the years.

So, to summarize: anger is due to a blocked goal. If the goal is ungodly, then it needs to change. If the goal is godly, then we must not sin in our strategy to meet the goal.

The bottom line is that we need the power of the Holy Spirit to help us control our anger. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23). Ask the Lord’s Spirit to so empower you, that you see changes in your life that are unexplainable apart from God!