When I was dating a girl in college, the man discipling me issued this challenge, “Treat your girlfriend the way you would want another man to treat your future spouse.” “What?” I asked. He explained to me that my present girlfriend might eventually be someone else’s spouse one day. That also meant that another young man could presently be dating my future wife. It just so happened both scenarios were true.
The challenge was for me to treat my present girlfriend as if she would one day be married to someone else. I was to treat her in such a way as to one day be able to present her to her future husband with these word, “Ethan (or whatever his name might be), this is Emma, and I have done nothing with her that I need to ask your forgiveness for, and I have helped to prepare her for you. Your relationship with her will in no way be damaged because of my relationship with her.” Wow! How huge is this. You might say, “This is way too much to expect today.” REALLY? I don’t think so. I think this is what God calls us to in our dating relationships.
“Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (1 Tim. 5:1-2).
To take this a little further, if I am NOT going to eventually marry the girl I am currently dating, then that means MY future wife is possibly dating someone else. Let’s assume she is. Let’s assume my future wife is dating a man named Jacob. Here is the principle I need to live by: I should not do anything with my current girlfriend (and I am not just talking about the physical here) that I would not want Jacob to do with MY future spouse. Many would say, “I would not want Jacob to even kiss her.” Great. Then don’t kiss your current girlfriend. I know many today who are pledging to make their first kiss with their boy/girlfriend at the altar of marriage.
The higher you raise the moral bar, the less likely you are to cross an unhealthy line of morality or compromise biblical standards.
Young people, and others who are dating: I encourage you to take this to heart and make it your guiding principal as you spend time with your boy/girlfriend. Treat that person as if he/she is going to be someone else’s spouse, and do not do anything with him/her that you would not want another person doing with YOUR future spouse.
Having a clear conscience before God and man is worth a million dollars!
“In view of this, I also do my best to maintain always a blameless conscience both before God and before men” (Acts 24:16).
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